Feel. All the feelings. In China.

I woke up this morning not wanting to go to class or do much of anything.

Five minutes into my first class, I’m thinking, "Dear god, do I love teaching."

Riding the bus back to the old campus, where I have a full apartment, I’m listening to Louis Armstrong and thinking how wonderful it is that there’s music that can melt the cold black star that inhabits my heart and let the sunshine in.

And I can’t stop cryiiiiiiinng…

I think I’m on my man-period.

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One comment

  1. Good news: if the object in your heart no longer has enough mass to ignite nuclear fusion it’s no longer a star. It’s really more of sub-brown dwarf, or an extremely large planet. Theoretically black dwarfs could exist in the future, but the universe has not existed long enough for a brown dwarf to cool down that much (10^15 years, longer if weakly interacting massive particles exist and the degenerate matter at the core of such an object is dense enough to interact with them.) So it’s probably a cold, black gas giant or something. Easier to deal with than a star.

    ^u^

    I hope you’re feeling better.

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